Thursday, November 25, 2004

And coming down from the roof like Sting..........

Aaron Bhatnager and Lyndon Hood are having a ruckus.

But what piss poor job they're doing of it.

There are no verbal fireworks, no cutting or incisive insults, no gore, no money shot. Just pomposity from the only man capable of being voted out in the one ward in the country where having a rich dad is an advantage, and, on the other side, drivel from Lower Hutt.

Matt Nippert did a better job and he can't even wash.

I wouldn't have thought, Aaron Bathhater, Auckland Political Activist that you would be so active these days, what with the being voted out and all. Sorry I wont mention it again. (Loser)

And Lyndon, stick to web design, Aaron Barklater had a point: it wasn't funny.

But for fucks sake Aaron Bathjelly what do you think you are doing?

This is the tip-top that AB could muster in response. Although he may wish to be Churchill, what with Churchill's ability to be voted out (sorry) yet still get back in to office, he may have to work on the old wit.

Lets run through with notes shall we. I'll be in brackets.


Lyndon Hood - part two

Lyndon Hood, who I described as a self appointed tit in a previous blog posting (self appointed perhaps being slightly better than not elected?) has taken umbrage (nice word, Dictionary.com or Thesaurus.com?) with my comments and launched into a spectacular Fallujah like offensive in his most recent blog posting (Yes, just like Fallujah). Except he's on the insurgent side (there I was figuring the insurgents were those without, say, office?(sorry)). And like any fanatic, he appears to desire his own being slaughtered (if even metaphorically) (If even metaphorically????? what the fuck - please point out all your radical language tricks in case we miss them like you missed the seat(sorry)) by choosing to respond to my criticism. (lets see how Aaron takes him downtown - looks promising doesn't it?)

He accuses me of not seeing the joke he was trying to make (to be fair he does look like he is squinting a bit in his photo, maybe Lyndon was concerned). He is right. This would have presupposed that his posting was funny. It was not. It was, in fact, an amateurish collection of dipsomaniacal (more nice use of thesaurus.com?) ramblings - an imagined conversation between himself and Rodney Hide. At least I hope he was drunk at the time. There would be real concerns if he imagined such conversations while sober (real concerns indeed, in fact the thought of a conversation with Rodney is, in itself, enough to make me want to get drunk). There was nothing particularly humorous about the posting, except that for all his efforts he repeatedly spelt Rodney Hide's name incorrectly. Riotous. (Riotous Bathwater, just like the way you are totally wasting him real-funny-guy, you're, like, totally metaphorically slaughtering him dude)

We can no doubt look forward to the feverish and deluded recollections
of his polemics with Don Brash, his affair with Winston Peters, and perhaps even
imagined recollections of his transvestite experiments with Peter Dunne. We
shall wait in earnest for the tales of these hallucinations - and pray, Lord,
how we shall pray that his humour becomes more apparent to us mere blogosphere denizens.
(I'd say something about how lame and pompous this excerpt is but I reckon that it is so apparent that such a move would be redundant, much like Aaron (sorry))

Still, his response shows that he has some spine. I like that. It looks very nice on my home office wall. (What does, his spine? You barely even tickled his stomach. I'm fucking shaking myself, and have a few reference books handy in case you reply and provide me, too, with a metaphorical slaughtering.... I just hope the Marines are doing a better job with the insurgents in Fallujah than you are with the ones in Lower Hutt.)





11 Comments:

At 7:51 AM, Blogger Aaron Bhatnagar said...

No use of a thesaurus - I owe "dipsomaniacal" to Captain Haddock from the Tintin adventures.

 
At 8:55 PM, Blogger Mellie said...

I seem to recall that 'Dipsomaniac' was the form used in Tintin - 'dipsomaniacal' sounds a hell of a lot messier than it needs - still, I guess where you can't think up an incisive adjective that people will recognise, go bastardise the noun instead. Make sure you conjugate it properly though, I don't know whether thesaurus.com would help you with that.

 
At 10:13 PM, Blogger Aaron Bhatnagar said...

You're quite right - dipsomaniac was the word used in Tintin's adventures. But Dipsomaniacal is the right expression, grammatically speaking.

 
At 9:17 PM, Blogger Simon Pound said...

I'd like to point out what a good sport Bhatnagar has been.
It was, as pointed out on dbm, a manufactured tiff, though Aaron was only to find this out after he had had a shot at me.
He declined to take a shot, rose above it like, and took all of it in his stride and whatever other cliches fit.

In short he was a Good man about it. Though I imagine I'm in for some form of karma-type retribution for such callous and baseless bad-mindedness in the future............

 
At 11:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stick to politics, chaps. You'll never make aquid out of humour.

 
At 9:50 PM, Blogger Aaron Bhatnagar said...

Good sport? If only you knew how much scotch I had to drink to calm my nerves!

:-)

Actually, DBM were very funny - a very bitchy funny though.

 
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